The Pram In The Hall

Type of Writing: An account of Kit's first Christmas. ‘Twas the Saturday before Christmas, when all through the house      The Prime Minister’s voice came stirring: ‘    It is with a very heavy heart, I must tell you, we cannot continue with Christmas as    planned.     In England, those living in tier four areas should not mix with anyone        outside their own household at Christmas .’            The news came as something of a hammer blow for our family. We have had the best of times this year. A new addition. A little boy that has filled our hearts with happiness and cheer. A candle in the gloom. For this year we have also had the worst of times. Dad, Raj, Grandad passed in the first wave of the pandemic, two weeks before his grandson was born. The Christmas was the opportunity to be together in a meaningful way for the first time: to induct an infant into the day and raise a g...

Type of Writing :  Reactions to Boris’ speech from myself and Harriet, contrasted with what was going on in Kit’s head. Good afternoon, I am sorry to report that the situation has deteriorated since I last spoke to you three days ago. Ryan: Has it deteriorated that much or were you just not listening when scientists said weeks ago that mixing over Christmas was a bad idea? Harriet: Just listen to him. Kit: (I like that man’s hair. It looks soft like straw. I want to touch it.) Yesterday afternoon, I was briefed on the latest data showing the virus spreading more rapidly in London, the South East and the East of England than would be expected given the tough restrictions which are already in place. I also received an explanation for why the virus is spreading more rapidly in these areas. It appears this spread is now being driven by the new variant of the virus, which we first learned about earlier this week. There is no evidence the variant causes more severe illnes...

Type of Writing: An interview with Kit about his art, the kind of thing that would be in the Culture section of The Daily Telegraph or the like. THE INFANT MASTER By P. Retencious Kit James Raj Theivamanoharan has become something of a big deal. Ever since his painting Flower set the art world ablaze, the cognoscenti has been waiting to see what he’ll do next. The answer is The Toilet Door Exhibition . Rejecting traditional gallery space, Kit has taken a punk approach and hung his paintings at home. I’m meeting him at his home to ask him why. I can do this because I’ve bubbled with Kit’s family; an opportunity that arouse since my own father disowned me following an argument over Rothko’s 1953 Rust and Blue . He said the work was derivative and I responded by saying “You’re derivative!” We haven’t talked in a month and he tells me he intends to spend Christmas with is new child from his new marriage. Just a few weeks old, he tells me, “he knows more about art than you.” So I’m here...

 Type of Writing: 20 questions Kit wants answering on the world he's living in. 1.   Why is there a tree in my living room? (And if the outdoors is moving in, will I be getting a swing in my bedroom because I’d like that?) 2.      Why does my dad continue to sing ‘Row Row Row Your Boat’ when I can tell his heart is no longer in it? 3.      Why are we going to meet people outdoors? Don’t they know it’s warmer inside? 4.      Why don’t I sleep in my mum and dad’s room anymore? The time from me waking to getting a hug has been protracted which I don’t appreciate. 5.      Why do my mum and dad only hug me and each other? They seem to like those other people we see. Where are the hugs for them? 6.      Why do my mum and dad constantly pull faces? Is there some kind of medical problem they need to address? 7.      What are those things they look at in their ha...