The Pram In The Hall

  Forget Glasto, this weekend was all about Dunsto. Undeniably, Arctic Monkeys, Guns & Roses and Elton John are top headliners, but listen to this for a bill: Madonna, Bon Jovi, Whitney Houston and ABBA. That’s right: Whitney and ABBA. Reports of Houston’s death appear to greatly exaggerated, and despite the ABBA avatars in London wowing audiences, there is nothing quite like seeing the band up close. Dunstable’s ‘Back to the 80’s’ reincarnated the dead and remarried those whom had long filed for divorce. Fans from far and wide, South Dunstable to Central Dunstable, flocked to see a great line-up of music. And where there’s a festival, there’s a celebrity – this was no different. Like the Britney Spears rumours at Glastonbury, whispers abounded that Faye Tozer would make an appearance. The Steps star was born in Dunstable, making the hearsay sound reasonable. This gossip did not materialise, however another guest appearance gave the weekend its stardust. Jude Theivamanoha...

  Mum: And ladies and gentlemen, we are near to launch here at Whipsnade Zoo, Bedfordshire. The swing chain is armed and ready to begin. Kit:      SWING CHAIN! Jude:    MUH-MAH! Mum: We are now ready for the swing seat to begin its ascent. Kit:      SWING SEAT! Jude:   BAH-BAH! Mum: The countdown has begun. 10-9-8-7 Kit:     6-1. BLAST OFF! Jude:   MUH-MAH! Mum: The swing seat engine is up and burning. Kit:     SWING SEAT! Jude:    BAH-BAH! Mum: 6…5…4…3 Kit:      BLAST OFF! Mum:   2-1 …and lift off! Kit:      BLAST OFF! Jude:    MUH-MAH! Mum: This is the start of the Space Shuttle Beautiful Boys journey to the moon. Kit:      BLAST-OFF! Jude:    BAH-BAH! Mum: You’re looking good up their boys. Kit:      BLAST-OFF! J...

  Meet Your New Inspiration If you’re seeking fitness inspiration, look no further than this baby: Jude Ellis Theivamanoharan. This week Jude attended his first Gymboree class, whose play-centred approach leads to enhanced physical development. After just one session, Jude went from not being able to pull himself up, to being able to pull himself into standing position. Some might call this natural coincidence, but in no way is it coincidence. So how did he do it? We asked his dad Ryan to provide the answers. Men’s Fitness : How did Jude make such rapid progress in an hour’s session? Dad : It comes down to 100% commitment. Success is 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration. Jude sweats for his victories. If you’re not perspiring, you’re not aspiring is what we keep telling him. By the end of his session the staff had to mop the floor: the moisture that emanated from him was a health and safety risk. He gives everything to be the best version of himself. Men’s Fitness : Did it ...

  Bumper to bumper, cars sniff one another’s arseholes. Bloody M25! Fleet’s had a face-lift, got a new Pizza Express. Kit that’s my choc au pain – get your mitts off. Building up a head of steam now, the M3 never lets you down. In a minute you’ll see the sea boys. Drink it in. Like a drill sergeant, the attendants put us in lines. The ferry is ready to depart. Right, we’ll drop our bags off, get some lunch, then head down to the beach. The seaside – like our sandwiches- has been wrapped in cellophane. It has been preserved, kept the same for decades. Children still dig holes to Australia, women sunbathe and men refuse to put on sun-screen. We’ll have a quick go on the swing, then head home to change before the pub. The Black Swan pub. Orwell’s ‘Moon Under The Water.’ The best inn in Britain. Nice to see you again, the first staff member says. Four lots of fish and chips please. What would you like? Peas or beans? Peas please. Plates emptied, bellies full, ...