Week 39: Baby Zoomers

 Type of Writing: Imagined scenarios of how exposure to Zoom will affect Kit's future interactions.

 


 

(Kit’s first day at school. He sits cross-legged on the carpet. The teacher is talking through the day. He’s nervous in a crowd of thirty – he doesn’t know anyone. Earlier, he spotted a boy had a Watford FC lunchbox. He sidles up to him.)

Kit: At lunch, should we go into a breakout room and talk about the football?

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(Kit has settled into school now. His teacher has asked the class to deliver ‘Show and Tell’ on Monday morning. She turns to Kit and asks, ‘What have you brought with you today?’)

Kit: Just give me one minute, miss, and I’ll share my screen with you.
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(Kit is arranging his 30th birthday.)

Hi all,

My dad used to talk about how great retro nights were when he was young. Apparently he used to go to this bar called Reflex that played music from the 1980’s – the decade he was born. Well, I thought how about having my birthday on Zoom. So let’s put our eye lenses down for the evening and go analogue: web cameras and tinny audio. Old Skool vibes. Who’s in?

__________________________________________________________________________

(Kit is a teacher in school. He didn’t want to be a teacher because his parents were one, but the elbow patches called and he answered. A shy student, flanked by doting parents, sits opposite him.)

Kit: Dua Lipa is a lovely girl. She just needs to unmute herself and post more chat in our class discussions.

____________________________________________________________________________

(Kit is in a relationship. He has an argument with his partner.)

Kit: Are you listening to me? It feels like you’ve got another window open and are concentrating on something else.

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(Kit is an old man)

Kit: During the pandemic I was on this thing called Zoom all the time.

Grandkids: Oh, grandad is talking about Zoom again.

 Kit: I thought only my closest relatives were three dimensions. I thought we were the only ones that lived in a house and everyone else existed in a screen.

Grandkids: We’ve heard this all before grandad.

Kit: Well, it’s all very well for you. You had an easy start in life. You weren’t locked in your house with only toys, books, TV, art equipment and an array of food for comfort. As a baby, I was prisoner in my own home.

Grandkids: Alright, grandad.

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