Week 47: Recipe for Success

Type of Writing: Recipe sheet.




‘Never work with gluten-free flour or babies,’ the old saying goes. Well, this week I baked a cake for the first time in fifteen years with my son, Kit James Raj. The project was overseen by Star Baker and local coeliac Harriet Emily Grace, who displayed Zen-like calm throughout - like the Dalai Lama on weed.  Fair play to her.

The reason I decided to unpeg my apron was because it was mum’s birthday and the old girl deserved to be spoilt this year. Spoilt with a substandard cake. To be fair, the cake looked pretty passable, other than the decorative dusting of icing which resembled the septum of Pablo Escobar.

 With restrictions eased, we celebrated together in mum’s garden. So here is our recipe for a good family day. Enjoy!

Ryan and Kit’s Good Day recipe.

 

1.     Preheat the temperature to 22C.

2.     Grease child in Factor 50 sun cream.

3.     For the celebration, place family members in garden. Distribute 2m apart to avoid unregulated mixing.

4.     Transfer victuals from car to table.

5.     Remove cling film. Then, request each family member go up one at a time.

6.     Leave people to settle whilst they eat.

7.     Then, taking your small child out of your lap pass evenly between each family member. Whilst this is happening, cool yourself with an ice-cold beer.

8.     Increase temperature to 23C. To prevent burning, ensure sun hat fully covers child’s head. Add extra cream if necessary.

9.     Once child is coated, turn to family and announce, ‘CAKE TIME!’

10.  Remove cake from foil and display.

11.  Cut tension with a knife as mum Prue Leith’s it.

12.  Taste success when mum smiles and pronounces, ‘You and Kit did a good job.’

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