Week 50: Sing When You're Winning

 Type of writing: Football chants for Kit, inspired by Watford getting promoted back to the Premier League.



Oh Kit James Raj is wonderful, Oh Kit James Raj is wonderful, Even though he’s born in Luton, Kit James Raj is wonderful.

(To The Saints Go Marching In)

 

Kit James, wherever you may be, you jump on the white setee.

(To Lord of the Dance)

 

Here’s to you Kit James Raj. Mum and dad love you more than you will know, woaaaahhhh. Here’s to you Kit James Raj. Mum and dad love you more than you will know, woaaaahhhh.

(To Simon and Garfunkel’s Mrs Robinson.)

 

Come on feel the noise, Kit throw your toys, The boy’s wild, wild, wild. Wild, wild, wild.

(To Slade’s Cum On Feel The Noize)

 

When the day is dawning. And my parents snoring. How long should I lie here? Drinking my thumb like beer. Every waking minute. Where I lie my head. Ain’t half as fun as my parents’ bed. Is this the way to mum and dad? Every night I hug at my pillow. Dreaming dreams of mum and dad.

(To Tony’s Christie’s (Is This The Way To) Amarillo.

 

Milk in the morning. Milk in the morning. You’re getting milk in the morning.

(To Bobby Darin’s Guantanmera)

 

Nah, na na nah, Here comes the baby stepper, todd-ler, I’m the nipple drinker, todd-ler, Pick up the beak-er, todd-ler, Still love you like that, todd-ler  

(To Ini Kamoze’s Here Comes The Hotstepper)

 

Someone’s shitting Lord/ Kit James Raj/ Someone’s shitting Lord/ Kit James Raj/ Someone’s shitting Lord/ Kit James Raj.

(To Kumbaya, My Lord)

 

His name is Kit and he thumbs his right hand.

(To Duran Duran’s Rio.)

 

When the boy hits the floor, And he lets out a roar, That’s unfortunate

(To Dean Martin’s Amore)

 

My, my, my, Kit James Raj/ Why, why, Kit James Raj/ I could see that nappy was no good for me/ But I was your dad, that meant I had to change thee.

(To Tom Jones’ Delilah)

 

We’ve got Kit James, Kit James Raj/ I just don’t think you understand/ He’s mum and dad’s man/ He’s better than Zidane/ We’ve got Kit James Raj

(To Billy Ray Cyrus’ Achy Breaky Heart)

 

There’s only one Kit James Raj/ And his surname’s Theivamanoharan/ Crawling along/ Making a pong/ Crawling in a Kit James wonderland.

(To Winter Wonderland)

 

Oh when the Kit goes walking in/ Oh when the Kit goes walking in/ I want to be in that living room/ When the Kit goes walking in.

(To The Saints Go Marching In)

 

 

 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Week 0: Hey Jude

Image
 Day 1 We didn’t mind our last baby was two weeks late. My dad, Harriet’s father-in-law, had just passed and we needed time to process sadness before we could register joy. However, we really didn’t want this baby to be late. If our little boy was born early in the summer, it would give us the opportunity to be a family whilst the school holidays were still in full swing. Also, last time round was a complex situation; in any other context, you don’t want to be waiting weeks and weeks for a child to be born. Harriet’s baby shower had friends guess the name, due date and weight. Unsurprisingly, the latest someone put down was August 17 th , the due date. ( Note: If you are at a baby shower, always put down a date before the due date or- if you’re particularly close to the mum-to-be - the due date itself. Never put down a time that exceeds the expected time of arrival, the mum-to-be will kill you and the police won’t charge, accepting there were mitigating circumstances.) I wa...
Read more

Week 1: Official Opening

Image
  Firstly, I would like to thank you all for being here today on this happy occasion. Just over two years ago we founded our first business, Theivamanoharan & Son. Despite the teething problems, growing pains and sleepless nights that come with any start-up, we found the venture wholly enjoyable. Therefore, in December of last year, we decided to expand the business. To extend our company profile by adding additional stock to our property portfolio. It is our goal, our ambition, to have the name Theivamanoharan as recognisable as Adidas, Marks and Spencer and Disney . For this to happen, we must develop our brand, spread the word, so one day Theivamanoharan will become a household name – like Dettol. This new asset you see before you was nine months in the making. The initial idea was conceived in the upstairs bedroom of a Dunstable townhouse, from there it went to the genetic designers that laid out the blueprint, the DNA, for what you see before you today. We’re thrilled to...
Read more

Week 52: The Party

Image
  A corps of caterers comprising of Harriet, her mother and mother-in law made their way to the beach hut. On buffet tables, ambrosian cup cakes crowded against homemade sausage rolls to create a sweet-savory symphony for the tastebuds. In the hut a bar was set up and stocked with exorbitant pop, sparkling elderflower being just one refreshment. Jostling alongside were bottles of Sainsbury’s finest Taste The Difference Prosecco. By eleven o’clock the guests had arrived. Guests that have come from the four corners of the globe. Guests from Watford, guests from Hemel Hempstead, guests from Hitchin, guests from Swanage. All beautified in their best beachwear to drink, to be merry. A grey cloud threatens the sky, but the party will not be cowed. The sky is unquestionably dulled by nature’s pall but the scene below remains colourful. The conversation flows like The Thames, snaking from person to person, interconnecting each and every one. Laughter peals out of diaphragms, creating...
Read more