Week 52: The Report

 Type of Writing: An end-of-year report.

Art

Kit continues to produce art at a prolific rate.  My only concern is whether the well will run dry. Look at other great creatives: Paul McCartney, Woody Allen and Madonna. Three people whom enjoyed success for a period of time, then produced diminished work. In Miyazaki’s The Wind Rises the protagonist Jiro states, ‘Artists are only creative for ten years …Live your ten years to the full.’ Given Kit’s extraordinary genius, I recommend he make hay while the sun shines – his talent can’t last forever.

 Drama

Kit has developed into quite the ‘ham.’ His over-dramatic acting is influenced by the Blessed method, a shouty style that puts volume at the centre. You can hear his full vocal projection when his face is wiped or his wants denied. Able to access rage easily, he is a young Jack Nicholson.

Music

Last month, Kit was bought a guitar from Dec and Beth. This adds to the glockenspiel, tambourine, and keyboard which he already had in his possession. Given his mum and dad can’t play any instruments, the chance of him being a multi-instrumentalist are slim. The chance, however, of him creating a huge racket high.

English

Kit’s love of reading has grown to a point where he now chooses his own books to read. Within two seconds of handing these to his father, he turns to the back page as if to declare, ‘I’m done with that.’ This leads me to surmise one of the two things: he either has a low concentration span or reads quicker than an English student who has a seminar in ten minutes.

Food Technology

In March Kit helped his dad bake a cake. This chocolate cake was met by approbation. Sure, no guests asked for more, but neither did they ask for less. This week he is helping his mother make his birthday cake, a duty he does not agree with. For Kit making your own cake is like being asked to bring in cake to work on your birthday: it shouldn’t happen.

Science

Kit has been helping his grandparents in the garden this week and started growing his own vegetables. This development does concern his mum and dad: if he becomes too Good Life self-sufficient, he might turn his nose up at their Friday dinners of burgers and oven chips.

PE

Kit has come on leaps and bounds in the last six months. Firstly, he started to crawl. Then he started cruising (which really should be renamed given its other meaning). Now, he is starting to stand on his own two feet.

To support this development, his parents enrolled him last week in baby gym. Baby gym is a place where babies stare at each other for fifty minutes – like the end of Good, The Bad and The Ugly ­– and parents quietly resent the child who can walk.

Maths

Kit would score highly on ‘shapes and patterns.’ He can quickly determine what portion is bigger within seconds of looking at it. At mealtimes he will discard smaller bits, perceiving them an insult, choosing instead larger portion sizes. This spatial recognition will serve him well should he go to an expensive restaurant: he will be aware of what a sham they are. More money should equate to more food. Kit, I feel, knows this.

Dance

Kit has taken to jumping like Van Halen or House of Pain or that Girls Aloud cover. He enjoys using the sofa as a trampoline. This jumping might be the first stage in pogoing, a punk dance of the 1970s. If he starts spitting as a sign of approval or blowing raspberries at the Queen, we may have a young Johnny Rotten on our hands.

Technology

Kit has worked out the internal and external mechanism of every lock in the house. He can discern within seconds whether something is a lever mortice deadlock, a rim automatic deadlatch or a lever lock. Given he has cracked most locks, a career in locksmithery or bank robbery awaits.

Overall Comment

Kit has had a very successful first year. If he can extricate his thumb from his mouth, he can achieve anything.