Week 7: Baptism

 

Loving Neptune,

we thank you for this water,

the very water Jude Ellis Theivamanoharan will be blessed in.


We thank you for this beautiful day,

A temperature that is just right.

Not cold enough for jumpers,

Nor warm enough for shorts.

A day for elbows, not knees.

A pleasant English day where sun cream

Is kept on standby-
like St John’s Ambulance-

Unlikely to be called upon.

 

Jude, I baptise you

In the name of The Father of The Bride (The first and best one),

The Son of Rambo (an unrecognised British classic)

And of the barroom spirits.

 

Now repeat after me,

Our political father, Nye Bevan,

Hallowed be your NHS,

Your vision will not be undone

By all the Tories on earth as too their constituents in Devon.

Forgive us our bins

If we have not separated our recycling properly.

Lead Watford FC not into relegation

But deliver us from midtable mediocrity.

For the King Charles Spaniel,

Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor

And Gloria Gaynor,

Amen.

 

Thanks be to Todd Carty.

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