Week 31: Record Breaker

 


 

Cheryl Baker: We’re here today to see if Jude Ellis Theivamanoharan can break a world record. His talent is noise. His lungs may be small, but his cry mighty. Over the last few weeks he has been bringing down the house with his high-pitched wail. In just a few moments, with our friends at Guinness World records, we will see if the practise has made perfect. The current record for the loudest sound in history was the 1883 volcanic eruption of Krakatoa, measuring in at 310 dB. Let’s talk to Jude’s mum about why she’s invited us here. Have you always thought Jude was loud?

Harriet: Yes, it was quite a surprise actually. Kit, our first born, was such a quiet child. A whole day could go past without him making much of a noise. Jude though is quite different. He was babbling very early on and concluding sentences with a high-pitched squeal.

Cheryl: Is there anything recently that has made you think he might be a record breaker?

Harriet: This past week has been ridiculous. His screams in the night have been so loud that I’m surprised Environmental Health haven’t been round. I think it’s only because we gave both of our neighbours a box of chocolate at Christmas that they haven’t reported us.

Cheryl: But a volcanic eruption. Can it really compete with that?

Harriet: For me, yes it can. In the early days it just sounded like two cats fighting or two foxes mating, but now it sounds like something altogether louder. Think Brian Blessed at a house fire crying ‘HELP! HELP! HELP!’ - or a fleet of cruise ships about to crash their horns blasting in unison – or Joe Pasquale blowing balloons for his granny’s centenary party, then doing a speech in her honour. Jude’s wail has a higher decibel level than all of them put together.

Cheryl: I bet the viewers at home are turning down their remotes now. In fact, I should say that: For your safety please turn your televisions right down. It would be irresponsible to keep the television at its current level and perhaps fatal to have it at a louder volume. This is why we ask Care Homes, in particular, where the volume can be up high for the hard of hearing to be especially cautious. I’ll just hand over to Mike Phillips from Guinness now to lay out the rules and regulations.

Mike: Thank you, Cheryl. In just a moment Jude will scream as loud as I can and I’ll use this Noise Level Meter to detect whether Jude has gone beyond 310 dBs. Obviously, because we’re next to Jude we will be wearing ear protectors; again, we advise people at home to take precautions for what you’re about to hear.

Cheryl: Thank you, Mike. Harriet is Jude ready?

Harriet: He’s ready.

Cheryl: Then, off you go Jude.

Jude: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mike (thrown through the air and coming to a land mouths “It’s 311 decibels”).

Cheryl: (Holding her ears beneath the ear protectors): There, we have it. Louder than a volcano. Jude Theivamanoharan has broken a record. How do you feel, mum?

Harriet: (Taking her hands of her ears): It’s such an achievement, but I do worry about the future. How much longer can my ear drums last?

Cheryl: I understand your concern, Harriet. But if your hearing should be obliterated by your son, then take comfort in the fact he is (has Mike pass the certificate) A RECORD BREAKER!

Harriet: Thank you so much. I used to read Guinness World Records as a kid. I loved seeing the pictures of the World’s Tallest Man or Woman with Long Finger Nails. To think my son is now in the book is quiet unbelievable.

Cheryl: I imagine you’re shocked. But you and your family deserve this moment.

Harriet: Thank you that means a lot.

Cheryl: Well, it’s goodbye from all of us at Record Breakers. And it’s goodbye from Jude, who at 7 months has broken a record that’s lasted for 140 years.

(All wave to camera.)

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