Week 47: The Jude Crawl
Done the Monopoly
pub crawl? Yep, “Drunk in charge,” got charged £20. Completed the Circle Line crawl?
In a roundabout way, yes. Finished The Wetherspoon Crawl? Got so blotto I
thought Tim Martin was right about Brexit.
Well, why not try
the Jude Crawl?
Beginning and
End point
The Jude crawl
sets off from his toy box in the corner and ends in the hallway by the front
door.
Stops
The Toy Box is where you’ll begin and have your first suck on thumb.
From there you’ll make your way to The Playmats where you can down some
thumb. Next, make your way to The Television Cabinet: here, you can
watch Bluey episodes whilst you drink more thumb. Make your way from
here to The Bookcase: why not have landlord Ryan read you a touch-and-feel
book as you imbibe thumb. After your literary fix turn to The Kitchen.
(A night on the tiles should involve actual tiles, am I right?) Your next stop
is The Utility Room, the smallest establishment on the crawl. Only two
people can drink thumb here at a time, but fear not because the publicans have
posted some child’s artwork outside for you to view while you wait. Finally,
you end up on The Hallway, a narrow inn that will feel narrower when you’ve
7 pints of thumb in you.
And there you have
it: The Jude Crawl. Enjoy!

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