Week 49: News at Jude
Good afternoon,
- Parents declare
Jude free from chicken pox.
- Jude’s crawling
breaks land speed record.
- Brothers’ tears
flood National Trust site.
It is now safe for
visitors to see Jude, that is according to Professor Chris Whitty. Last week the
Government’s scientific advisor recommended the family cease contact with the
outside world to stop the spread of the disease. With the child’s temperature
returning to normal and spots stabilising, the family are now in a position to
welcome back guests into their home.
(Cut to Health
Correspondent, Sam Oxbridge's VT detailing Jude’s recovery alongside supplementary graph explaining how the R rating is now at 0.)
For twenty-five
years the land speed record stood, but that is no more. Today, Jude Ellis
smashed through the sound barrier, recording a speed of 768 mph. The feat is made
all the more remarkable by the fact that he only began crawling a few weeks
ago. Jude’s trajectory from belly sliding to commando scrabbling has sent engineering
experts into a spin. How has the boy gone from showing no inclination to move,
to hurtling down the hallway?
(Cut to VT of Andy Green’s 1997 SuperSonic Car record
juxtaposed with film of Jude crawling. Voice-over from Technology
Correspondent, Norman Geek)
And finally, Jude
and his brother, Kit, caused a tsunami of tears at a Hertfordshire visitor site.
Patrons of the Ashridge Estate Café fled their cappuccinos as both boys cried
simultaneously, causing a horrendous flash flood. Onlookers described the scene
as 'catastrophic', however park rangers have since declared the situation as 'under control' with the brothers safe at home.
(Cut to Home Affairs Correspondent, Susannah Blighty's VT. An overhead shot of the flood zone begins the piece culminating in a clip of the brothers snoring in bed.)
That’s all for the
News at Jude. Good afternoon.

Comments
Post a Comment